Just found out a coworker snitched on me for leaving 10 minutes early.

“That’s not part of my job description.”

I’d rather my employer give us good toilet paper than a retirement plan.

“A few questions regarding your expense report.”

“You catch that action item?”

Happy hour ends at 7:00. Office hours don’t.

Even though my boss never talks to me, getting that email that he will be out of the office for the rest of the week really calms the nerves.

Updating four different status lists for the same project.

Having to go to an urgent care two days after a bachelor party.