Being too tired to have sex. PGP. Doing it anyway because you stayed the night and don’t want her to think you’ve transitioned into legitimately dating. PGP.

“How was your Thanksgiving…” – EVERYONEPGP

Got chewed out for not responding to email over Thanksgiving and the long weekend. PGP.

Well at least there was no traffic on my commute today

“Be prepared to work the full day” -manger PGP

The chick I’ve been casually dating took a shit in my apartment.PGP

I can never tell if my boss is joking or actually thinks I don’t do anything here. PGP.

Today I witnessed some savage animal walk into the stall with a full mug of coffee and proceed to shart violently. PGP.

Always volunteering to pick up lunch so I can extend that break from work an extra 20 minutes. PGP