I enjoy conversations about the weather with random strangers. PGP.

“What do you mean you don’t have bottomless mimo’s?” PGP.

Someone viewing my profile on LinkedIn is more exciting than a match on Tinder. PGP.

I finally understand, “girls don’t like boys, girls like cars and money.” PGP.

Too old for the interns & too young for the widows. PGP.

I go home on my lunch break just to smoke weed. PGP.