Signing up for a PGP account while sitting at graduation. PGP.

Looking forward to my buddy’s wedding simply because it will be a great opportunity to take a quality LinkedIn photo. PGP.

Having absolutely nothing to do but still needing to pretend you’re busy in case a partner walks by. PGP.

Everyone is getting leg cramps and shit during sex and I’m over here like, what is this “sex”? PGP

Forgot I had lowered my chair and sat on my balls. PGP.

Annual sexual harassment and diversity webinars all afternoon. PGP

Seeing grad day photos of the kids that were freshmen when you were a 5th year senior. PGP.

I’m the only one in my office who doesn’t care how that schmuck met their mother. PGP

I live and work in two different time zones. PGP.

“All I want for Mother’s Day is for you to find a nice girl.” PGP.