The “I feel I can work and get along with pretty much everyone” lie during an interview. PGP.

Coming home from vacation to a flat tire. PGP.

“Hope all is well with you!” -friend with whom you used to communicate daily. PGP.

Moving. PGP.

Girlfriend just thanked the waiter at a taco bar by saying “Graci-YASS.” PGP.

Trying to lose weight in an office that caters lunch and where clients frequently send desserts. PGP.

Just doing whatever because it’s busy season and they can’t afford to fire you. PGP.

If one more person says ‘reach out’ I’m going to reach my hand down their neck and pull out their balls. PGP.

My managers get a list of all the fuck-ups from yesterday every morning. I was responsible for 40% of them. PGP.

Crack open a beer, get in van. “I guess this is my fantasy suite.” PGP.