My favorite podcasters are on vacation and now I don’t know how to work. PGP.

Just deleted a game to make room for a grocery store app on my phone. PGP.

The last time the World Cup was on I was drunk in college. Now, I’m hungover in a cubicle. PGP.

Quit my job on my birthday. Best gift I have ever received. PGP.

I like to live life on the edge in that sometimes I go grocery shopping without a list. PGP.

Now I know what my parents were talking about. PGP.

I was on a conference call during Dempsey’s goal. PGP.

The USMNT waiting to play until happy hour on Monday. PGP.

My Pandora has played nothing but songs about quitting your job to move to the beach. PGP.

My life is one part “The Office,” two parts “Office Space,” zero parts funny. PGP.