I had a nightmare that my company hired Terry Tate. PGP.

Needing 2-3 years experience for every entry level job, which makes absolutely no sense. PGP.

The excitement of your college buddies coming to visit being overshadowed by the fear of the hit to your bank account. PGP.

The most productive thing I’ve done today was download the PGP app. PGP.

Turn down for what? Turned down for a raise, that’s what. PGP.

Changing girls as often as your underwear. TFM. Changing girls as often as your oil. PGP.

My undergrad friends think I’m boring, and my postgrad friends think I’m immature. PGP.

The office 10 is an everywhere else 6. PGP.

Wishing the price gun at work was a real gun so you could end your suffering. PGP.

I feel like I’m Leonardo DiCaprio from Catch Me If You Can. Every day I go to my new job, dressing and acting like I belong, and wondering when they’ll figure out I don’t know shit. PGP.