“Last night I ordered a pizza by myself and ate it over the sink like a rat.”- Andy Bernard

Going to bed every night not really caring if you die in your sleep. PGP.

Someone brought a box of girl scout cookies for the office and they were dominated within 10 minutes. Vultures. #PGP

No one at work gets my jokes.

Trying to find your own hole in the wall restaurant like Freddy’s BBQ on House of Cards #PGP

Realizing you may have peaked in college.

Running out of notches on your belt. Actually needing to go out and buy a new belt as the old one is too small #PGP PGP.

All I have learned from Tinder is that a lot of ugly girls live by me

Being able to gauge how long you’ve been in the bathroom by how much sensation you have left in your legs. #PGP

When you’re not sure if your boss is hanging around because he knows you have nothing to do, or if he’s bored because he also has nothing to do. PGP.