that daily, 4:30 pm “I’ll be productive tomorrow” thought

Legitimately sad that there probably won’t be another Llama chase today

The only place I get air conditioning during the day is on public transportation. PGP.

All I have learned from Tinder is that a lot of ugly girls live by me

Being more worried about how high your gas bill is going to be rather than if you’re going to freeze to death. PGP.

Splash-back from a high-powered sink making it look like you pissed yourself a little. PGP.

“Hi Mom, how do I ______?” PGP.

If the government is shut down, why are taxes still coming out of my paycheck? PGP.

Having more hanging clothes than closet space. PGP.