New office policies clearly being directed toward you. PGP.

I like my Netflix like I like my drinking: all binge, all the time. PGP.

The feeling of disappointment when you pull into the parking lot and see that your office did not burn down overnight. PGP.

Shit, I’m going to be doing this for the next 40 years. PGP.

Attempting to hole punch more pieces of paper than the hole puncher can handle now gives me an adrenaline rush. PGP.

For Lent, I’m giving up. Like in general, just giving up. PGP.

The coffee in the break room tastes like lost hope. PGP.

I received tires for my birthday. PGP.

When winking at the Starbucks barista while ordering a “tall blonde” is your most aggressive pickup line. PGP.

Wearing the same shirt as coworker old enough to be your father. PGP.