Checking your bank account before buying an app. PGP.

Facebook making you feel better about your life and LinkedIn making you feel worse. PGP.

Having no personal items on your desk so you can get up and leave immediately if fired. PGP.

Can’t update my iPhone software because my iTunes is too old. Can’t update my iTunes because my MacBook is too old. PGP.

Fearing for your life every time you drive as your car you’ve had from high school slowly dies on you. PGP.

The thought that one day I may be responsible for raising children is an absolute fucking joke. PGP.

Wishing you were Zac Efron, but relating more to Seth Rogan. PGP.

Conference calls: where stupid questions are born, respect for coworkers is lost, and justification for happy hour is found. PGP.

Having a significantly better lifestyle while away on a business trip. PGP.

The server at Chipotle added me on LinkedIn. PGP.