Working for a company that does not even recognize “Casual Fridays.” PGP.

Spending the rest of the afternoon cleaning out the speaker holes in my iPhone with a push pin. PGP.

I shit more in one day than I did a week in college. PGP.

Working for a company that doesn’t have “summer Fridays.” PGP.

Work was offering free lunch today but instead I drove 10 minutes and ate at Arby’s alone just to get out of the office. PGP.

I’m more attracted to the DirecTV puppet wife than the girls at my agency. PGP.

An older coworker referring to pressing the power button on a computer as “reworking the hard-drive.” PGP.

Somebody emailed the entire office because they lost their roast beef sandwich. PGP.

Someone smudged, “Fuck this place,” on the inside of our parking garage’s elevator. PGP.

1: “What do you do for a living?” 2: “I don’t want to talk about it.” PGP.