There have already been several emails warning us about the consequences of taking a long lunch break for the Germany-United States game. PGP.

Coming to terms with the inevitability of meeting my future wife at a bar. PGP.

Getting a new chair being the most exciting thing to happen at work in a while. PGP.

Contemplating becoming a teacher strictly for summer vacations. PGP.

Immediately crumpling up your ATM receipt to avoid seeing your account balance. PGP.

Less than a year of marriage under my belt and I’ve already been put on Weight Watchers. PGP.

Just flirted with a sorority girl for two minutes and thought, “I still got it.” PGP.

Getting a new match on Tinder gives me the same false promise that my degree did. PGP.

That 10am Bio 101 class doesn’t seem so bad anymore. PGP.