Understanding what the “Friends” theme song was all about more and more every single day of my life. PGP.

Celebrating with a new pair of shoes after a successful week of dieting. Now I can’t afford groceries next week, and the cycle continues.

I’m seriously considering moving in with a girl I’m not that interested in just so I can save 50% on rent. PGP.

Passing out after four beers during a World Cup match between two teams you couldn’t care less about. PGP.

I seriously considered quitting my office job to go back to life as a cart girl and life guard for the summer. Those were the good ol days. PGP

Had to explain to a colleague what Bonnaroo is today. They couldn’t comprehend and hadn’t heard of any of the artists that played besides Elton John and Lionel Richie. PGP.

If Sallie Mae was a real person, I’d hunt her down and punch her in the fucking face. PGP.

Hearing friends’ salaries and knowing I picked the wrong major. PGP.

I spend every morning praying for Chipotle to roll out a breakfast menu. PGP.