Smoking cigarettes to increase your metabolism. PGP.

Getting hit on by a cougar and iced out by someone your age. PGP.

I don’t know if I’m shaking from the caffeine or the hangover. PGP.

A 23-year-old just won the World Cup for his country. All I’ve done for mine is pay taxes. PGP.

It’s not a question of whether or not someone will yell at me today, it’s when. PGP.

The sense of impending doom that is returning to work after a holiday weekend. PGP.

Everyone in the office has been losing their shit over how awesome the newly installed Dyson Blade hand-dryers are. PGP.

Not calling ahead to your lunch place just to spend more time waiting for it. PGP.

My boss made a “You’ve been working very hard. Why don’t you take Friday off?” joke just now. I’ve been so out of it that I didn’t realize we already had it off. PGP.