I didn’t drink at all yesterday. This morning I feel like a million bucks, that I’ll probably never have. PGP.

I haven’t been this sober on my birthday since high school. PGP

I still make out in bars.PGP

Visited my college over the weekend. Blew my knee out running from the cops. PGP.

I only see friends at weddings or bachelor parties.

My boss said “welcome home” when I walked in the office this morning. #PGP

I’m not going to pay my bills until lunchtime because I want to see my bank account with that money for just a little bit longer. PGP.

Starbucks taste; break room budget.

Putting “Fake Smiling” on my Linkedin skills page

The title Housewife is looking pretty good right now PGP