Moved to the 3rd biggest city in the U.S. for work…and don’t know anyone. PGP.

My boss blatantly ignored my request to take a sick day. PGP.

Stayed up three hours past my bed time last night. Woke up feeling hungover. I didn’t even drink last night. PGP

The only marathons I participate in are Netflix marathons. PGP.

Every time my office has a fire drill I bring my car keys on the far off chance that its real and we’ll get to go home.

When things get hard, I go into the bathroom and listen to Styx’s “Come Sail Away” and remember my Caribbean cruise from three years ago.

I always think tomorrow is the day I’ll start giving a shit. Tomorrow never comes. PGP.

I fell asleep during the commercial break before the Blackhawks won in double OT last night. #PGP

It’s practically Friday…

I got my tax refund. I’M RICH, BITCH!