Just found out the girl I’ve been texting has a 6 year old. PGP.

I left the bar at 9:15 on Saturday because I was tired. PGP

I haven’t had a tinder match in weeks. PGP

Too scared to click on the “Your card statement is ready” email the day after getting back from SXSW.

It took me four cups of coffee to realize that someone had brewed decaf in the regular color designated coffee pot. PGP.

Starting to recognize the same cars every morning on your commute. PGP.

It’s Friday and I’m here. That should be good enough. PGP.

I had Iowa State in the Final Four. PGP.

“I’m sorry babe, we just can’t afford a baby right now.” PGP

I can’t grill because I live in an apartment. PGP.