Tried a new, calmer sounding alarm this morning. Overslept by almost two hours. PGP.

My little cousin said she loves Beyoncé. Trying to bond, I told her I liked Destiny’s Child. She had no idea what I was talking. PGP.

The woman in the cube next to me brought her baby in today. Now people are surrounding my cube and I have to get actual work done. PGP.

Can I go home now? PGP.

Having to lie to coworkers on Monday morning to make it seem like I had an exciting weekend. PGP.

My girlfriend got me tickets to both a Packers game and a Brewers game in the same weekend for my birthday. I have to cut her loose because she set the bar too high on birthday gifts. PGP.

Wanting to slap the shit out of your friend when he pulls out the, “have your people call my people” joke. PGP.

Desk sores. PGP.

It’s my turn to take the weekend shift. My boss verbally warned me “you need to be sober.” PGP.

Sometimes I restart my computer to kill five minutes. PGP.