You know you’re getting old when your friends all start having planned pregnancies. PGP.

Didn’t blackout during my entire visit to my parents’ house. It’s a Christmas miracle!! PGP.

All of the work, none of the credit. PGP.

Getting pumped for firing up my new slow-cooker tomorrow. PGP.

Sore from sex. PGP.

I leave reviews on Facebook. PGP.

Friday afternoon me forgot to refill the Brita pitcher for dehydrated Monday morning me. PGP.

Either come in early and stay late or spend two hours in traffic both ways. PGP.

My younger brother’s pilot just got picked up by HBO. I’m taking the bus to my cubicle. PGP.

Single occupancy bathrooms being the height of luxury in your office building. PGP.