I only have blood because I got away from my desk for an hour. PGP

Stopped for a bagel on my way to work. Someone brought bagels in for the office. PGP

“Let’s discuss this offline.”

“I apologize for the delay…” (I’ve been putting this off for as long as humanly possible)

Always choosing wrong on your morning commute. PGP

Got a cold Thursday and took a sick day on Friday. Not a single person believes that I’m sick.

My last day at my current job is Wednesday. I have nothing to do until then. PGP.

Ignoring the call on the first ring so my boss thinks I’m actually on the phone with someone.

My work wife just emailed me asking me why I haven’t come into the office yet. PGP.

Every Monday morning: “Is your Outlook frozen?” #PGP