Totaled my car and made an okcupid account in the same hour. PGP

Justifying your random assortment of furniture with “My future wife is just going to throw out all of my things anyway”. PGP.

One week away from going full-out Patrick Bateman. PGP

That small feeling of satisfaction you get from knowing you are alone when walking into the bathroom and the motion lights click on. PGP.

Yesterday was a holiday? PGP.

The guy who sits 10 feet from me only asks me questions via email. PGP.

No one watches my snapchat stories anymore. #PGP

There is a line at the copier. PGP.

That awful feeling when lunch is over and you need to get back to work. PGP.

Actually being sick on a sick day.