Wearing athletic shorts while eating an entire pizza. PGP.

Separation anxiety because your normal trivia host got transferred to another bar. PGP.

If I had to, I could clean out my desk in five seconds and nobody would ever know I had been here. I’d forget too. PGP.

Being way too pleased with your Quiznos order. PGP.

Going to the other Chipotle for fear of becoming a regular at the closer one. PGP.

Gas, oil and check engine light came on in the same day. I don’t get paid for another week. PGP.

My manager cut a hole in my cubicle wall so he could have “better lines of communication.” PGP.

A coworker asked if I have any kids. I said, “Man, I hope not.” They did not find it amusing. PGP.

Customers taking their anger out on you when they call the wrong extension. PGP.

There’s no way anyone at work could confirm or deny that I was here today. Why am I here? PGP.