I’ve been living off granola bars and fruit snacks from my office’s snack basket for the past few months. PGP.

Being asked to move out of the background a company commercial shoot. PGP.

Had no internet at work yesterday, spent 9 hours playing solitaire. PGP.

The need to scrub the bar stamp off my hand was my only motivation for getting in the shower this morning. PGP.

Intentionally avoiding the cute teller at the bank, because you don’t want her to see your account balance. PGP.

Just realized I can no longer check the “20-24” age box on forms. PGP.

Fighting the urge to pretend I’m on Shark Tank and typing “for that reason, I’m out” in work emails. PGP.

I feel like my life has now turned into the first scene of any movie Rob Schneider made from 1999-2002. PGP.

Let’s just see who pops up on Match.com in the $150k+ income bracket. PGP.

Three office birthdays in the past month. I’ve gained six pounds. PGP.