Girlfriend, 401(k), gym membership. Pick one. PGP.

I have no self control. PGP.

Really starting to get tired of the breakfast at the hotel I’m staying in. PGP.

I fell asleep during a haircut last night. PGP.

“Your request to increase your credit line has been denied.” PGP.

The single pube on the top of the urinal. PGP.

Can’t wait to watch the news tonight. PGP.

Getting all excited about a raise that can barely cover the price of one extra Subway Sandwich every two weeks. PGP.

Tindering while cold calling. PGP.

Watching a series of heist and crime movies causing you to seriously consider becoming a professional criminal. PGP.