Trump just won my home state. PGP.

Too rich for income-restricted housing. Too poor for market value. PGP.

I’ve been hungover while being ghosted on the past two days. This is what mental death feels like.

Being afraid to ask your boss a question because you’re pretty sure you should already know the answer. PGP.

Too old for tinder. Too young for Match.

29 hours till Happy Hour. 88 hours till Game of Thrones. 3055 hours till College Football. PGP.

Your boss casually pranking you in the airport by placing a gun shaped turbo lighter and Japanese adult mags in your carry-on bag while you’re away to get coffee for him. Be ware of Asian bosses.

Just found out the company is sending me on a trip over Memorial Day weekend to a dry county.

Used Groupon on a first date. PGPM

Really not knowing how to socialize with babies and always ending up being the weird one petting their heads