Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Liquor before beer, never been sicker. PGP

My father-in-law just endorsed me for Microsoft Excel on LinkedIn. PGP.

Getting unreasonably angry when someone takes “your” spot in the parking lot. PGP.

XBox recognizes my achievements more than my company. PGP

You know that old cliche to keep your eye on the ball? I keep my eye on the clock.

“You see Game of Thrones last night?”-PGP.

“Your password will expire in 3 days. Please reset password.” Don’t tell me how to live my life. PGP.

College fair duty. PGP

My piss still smells like beer. PGP.

Some psychopath scheduled an all day meeting that starts at 7:45 am on Friday. PGP