Getting up early just to spend time doing nothing before work. PGP.

I really can’t stand anyone. PGP.

38 minutes late to work today because I jacked off in the shower this morning. I didn’t even finish. PGP.

I have an entire desk drawer filled with ketchup, mustard, mayo, soy sauce, salt, pepper, and duck sauce packets. PGP.

Having a laptop and the ability to work from home, but still expected to be in the office every day. PGP.

Wanting to do something but not wanting to get out of bed. PGP.

Managing amounts of money that I have no fucking chance of ever having myself. PGP.

When I get bored at work, I just get pictures of goats off the internet and send the pictures to my coworkers in emails marked “important.” PGP.

I’ve been here long enough to where people expect me to know what I’m doing, but I still have no clue. PGP.

I legitimately forget how old I am sometimes. PGP.