We got new coffee. They have somehow found coffee that is even worse than our old stuff. PGP.

“Maybe Viagra really is right for me.” PGP.

Doing online typing tests so it sounds like you’re diligently working. PGP.

Not telling your parents you got promoted because you’re scared they’ll stop giving you money. PGP.

I just Googled, “How to sleep with your eyes open.” PGP.

Day dreaming about sex in my morning meeting. PGP.

Utilizing WebMD for medical jargon to make your fake illness sound much more believable. PGP.

Drinking games now means seeing if I can finish a drink without feeling sleepy. PGP.

I’ve taken a total of two legitimate sick days in my first six months at my job. My manager told me at if I keep up the pace, I won’t make it a year. PGP.

In yesterday’s mail I received: a mortgage statement, a bill from my dermatologist, and a wedding invitation. So, all bills. PGP.