My kitchen has two plates, one spoon, one fork, one knife, and one whiskey glass. PGP.

I have been working here for five months now. Only yesterday was I informed that our building has a free 24 hour gym that’s nicer than the one I’ve been paying for. PGP.

Papa John’s Rewards points serve as currency in my house. PGP.

Sometimes I make my bed for the sole purpose of feeling like I have my life together. PGP.

Monday I started P90X. Tuesday I finished a large pizza. PGP.

Beginning all online shopping sprees by clicking the ‘sort price: low to high’ option. PGP.

Watching “American Greed” for ideas on how to get rich quick. PGP.

I can’t tell if I have low libido or if I’m just too tired to jack off anymore. PGP.

It’s almost “drive to work in the dark, drive home in the dark” season. PGP.

I wonder if I have to claim Fantasy Football winnings on my taxes. PGP.