25% battery by 2pm. PGP.

My orange juice tasted really good in the car this morning. Then I realized I didn’t brush my teeth. PGP.

Is it bad that the main reason I want to date him is his house is five minutes from my office? PGP.

Someone in HR overheard me telling the interns an embellished sex story from college. Strike one. PGP.

Seriously, fuck Steve. PGP.

Living off a steady diet of microwaveable meals and beer. PGP.

My friends are all getting engaged. I’m still puking on street corners. PGP.

I found out my current job was posted on LinkedIn, so I applied for it. PGPM.

Adderall to get me up. Ambien to bring me down. PGP.