I’m the office Manziel. PGP

The office manager just said ‘Correctamondo’ and is playing Creed. PGP.

Some psychopath scheduled an all day meeting that starts at 7:45 am on Friday. PGP

Trump just won my home state. PGP.

Applied for a job from my work computer yesterday. PGPM

Too lazy to take out my contacts every night. Too poor to afford Lasik. PGP.

Too rich for income-restricted housing. Too poor for market value. PGP.

“To the first of many birthdays spent in a cubicle” – My supervisor. PGP

Too old for tinder. Too young for Match.

Had a nightmare that I wore jeans on Thursday thinking it was casual Friday. PGP.