My boss asked me about something he could have only known about through Facebook. We are not Facebook friends. PGP.

Fourth year in a row of not getting birthday sex. PGP.

I had to pretend not to listen to an old married couple in Kohl’s arguing loudly about what size pants the husband wears. PGP.

Having a silent freak out in your cube after one too many cups of coffee. PGP.

Boss took the day off. I’m not doing shit today. PGPM.

“You’ll need to stay late to wait for their response.” PGP.

Someone viewing my profile on LinkedIn is more exciting than a match on Tinder. PGP.

Wearing noise-canceling headphones do nothing to stop coworkers from bothering me. PGP

I refuse to tuck my shirt into my jeans. PGPM

“Someone should probably do something about that.” PGP.