It’s my first day off in months. I’m taking the GRE. PGP.

I don’t poop at home so I have something to do at the office. PGP.

I’d make 15% more if I had a better fake laugh. PGP.

Getting dirty looks from people when you tell them you actually like your job. PGP.

“About to go to bed, text me tomorrow and we can catch up!” PGP.

Waiting for PGP to post new columns on Monday morning. PGP.

Consulting with your physician before attempting a new diet and workout regimen. PGP.

Actively avoiding the guy practicing his golf swing at the office. PGP.

It smells like a dead rat in our office, because a rat died in the vents and they haven’t dealt with it yet. PGP.

Snuck beer onto a public beach where alcohol is prohibited, just to feel young again. PGP.