When experimenting with drugs refers to trying Cialis or Viagra. PGP.

Getting a power trip from having your own intern. PGP.

I’m starting to think before I act. PGP.

The hardest I worked today was charting my coworkers BMs to figure out the ideal time to use the handicap stall for number two. PGP.

Haven’t gotten a Tinder match in about a week. I’m telling myself it’s an issue with their servers. PGP.

Finally feeling like a man for drinking not because you want to, but because you have to. PGP.

You don’t know evil till you meet a bathroom whistler. PGP.

All my friends are assholes, but I have no idea where you find new ones. PGP.

The biggest decision of my day is when to have my second cup of coffee. PGP.

Swiping left on the hot 21-year-olds just to spare myself the rejection. PGP.