Not sure what’s harder to find, an empty, odor-free bathroom at work or a single attractive girl over 25 without major problems. PGP.

Every Friday at noon my boss tells me to “Have a good weekend, kiddo” as he heads out the door. PGP.

Could have joined my family for a beautiful 10-day vacation in Hawaii. Instead, I was a bridesmaid in three weddings. PGP.

Sitting on a warm toilet at work is the same as finding out your buddy already tagged your one night stand. PGP.

Seriously contemplating making an audition tape for “Big Brother” for the extra money. PGP.

“Maybe Viagra really is right for me.” PGP.

Having to stock up on toilet paper for your fantasy draft party. PGP.

Keeping your diploma over your liquor shelf to remind yourself that you can still accomplish things when you spend most of your time drunk. PGP.

“Come to my office,” really just means “come and hang out for 20 minutes while waiting for your superior to answer their own question.” PGP.

Girlfriend got into bed with her retainer in…again. PGP.