I’ve taken a total of two legitimate sick days in my first six months at my job. My manager told me at if I keep up the pace, I won’t make it a year. PGP.

Car naps at lunch becoming more appealing than the thought of eating. PGP.

Chewed out by IT for having Chrome extensions, but not for the 68GB of pirated movies on my work computer. PGP.

In yesterday’s mail I received: a mortgage statement, a bill from my dermatologist, and a wedding invitation. So, all bills. PGP.

Bringing an “Out Of Order” sign on your bathroom breaks so you can drop your deuces in peace. PGP.

Had a great first date last night. We bonded over how terrible cable companies are. PGP.

Canceling a date for Sunday brunch while in bed with a different date Saturday night. PGP.

It has been a month since I was hired and I am still not sure if I am doing my job correctly. PGP.

Had a dream I was back in college. Quickly turned into a nightmare when I was called into HR. PGP.

Up to two naps a day now. PGP.