Using unexpected birthday money on Tupperware and bath towels. PGP.

When being itchy means it’s time to wash your sheets again. PGP.

My roommates walked in on me masturbating this morning. I live with my parents. PGP.

I really need to take my suit to the dry cleaners, but then I wouldn’t have anything to wear to work for a few days. PGP.

Ignoring the heart palpitations from your morning coffee. PGP.

Making the wardrobe transformation from “business professional” to “homeless person” as soon as you get home. PGP.

Watching all these Ice Bucket Challenges make me glad I don’t have that many friends anymore. PGP.

Being happy starters don’t play after the first half in the preseason so I can get to bed early. PGP.

Maker’s Markers. Beta Blockers. PGP.

The only reason I’m dating him is so I can say “He’s in Law School” to everyone I meet. PGP.