My last day at my job is in ten days, my password expires in six. PGP.

Just broke up with my girlfriend. First thing I did was look at PGP for how to Tinder. PGP.

Having more sex in one day than you did in the past year. PGP.

Spent my entire lunch break reading about Ebola. PGP.

The crushing feeling of defeat when it’s finally time to let the belt out another notch. PGP.

When it comes to Tums, it’s go bulk or go home. PGP.

Being surprised when you’re not hungover. PGP.

When people in the office go “out” to lunch, they get a dollar menu item from a fast food joint. PGP.

Considering moving to the suburbs so you have an excuse to not go out drinking and go to sleep early on the weekends. PGP.

My girlfriend gives me a four-hour drinking limit each time I go out. PGP.