Anyone that uses “Ninja” as a title on LinkedIn. PGP.

The guy next to me has had a cold since Halloween. PGP.

Damn, I missed the sun again. PGP.

My only LinkedIn profile views from the past month are from my mother and a Catholic Deacon from Maine. PGP.

It’s not that I’m antisocial, it’s just that I don’t give a fuck anymore. PGP.

There is a cute girl that sits across from me at work. I have no idea how to handle this situation. PGP.

Broke my New Years Resolution to not use Tinder. Not a single match yet. PGP.

Spent over five hours of company time playing Oregon Trail, making up for all the elementary school sessions that my teachers cut short. PGP.

Got strep throat yesterday. My boss asked me if I was still coming in. She was legitimately pissed off when I told her the antibiotics take 24 hours to kick in. PGP.

Just realized I read and enjoyed an article ranking types of milk. PGP.