I used to wonder what the worst day of the year was until I woke up this morning.

Hoping to one day select ‘Current Balance’ rather than ‘Minimum Payment’. PGP

I must be an asshole for trying to close deals between Christmas and NewYears

Even if I had more vacation days, I can’t afford to go anywhere cool. PGP.

Today, LinkedIn asked me how I know my father.

“Hey there! Looks like we are on the same bathroom schedule!” PGP.

If I could have seen how miserable my future was going to be when I was little kid, I would have just stayed in my hometown and opened up an action figure store.

Can’t wait to turn 25 so that my car insurance premium drops. PGP.

I took today off of work to relax and catch up on sleep. I forgot to turn my alarm off

We don’t have Internet today. Now I have to interact with my co workers.