My boss warned me that too much coffee could give me a heart attack. PGP

Half-joking about wiring all my clients’ funds to my own account

I don’t have a work spouse. PGP.

Simultaneously saying and then not responding to “how’s it going”

Knowing that any PTO requests should be made approximately 15mins after your boss has his mid-morning snack. PGP.

The daily morning battle of when I see if I can hold out my poop long enough to make to work so I can be paid to take one.PGP.

Older coworker just asked if I knew were he could score weed. PGP

I started tucking my polo into my jeans on casual Friday. I’ve officially given up

Washing down melatonin with whiskey

Passed out after work and missed the entire GOP debate. PGP.