The first place I wore my fitbit was a Waffle House. PGP.

Got a flu shot because the company paid me $20 for it. PGP.

I fucking love my Honda Accord. PGP.

Netflix autopay just overdrafted my checking account. PGP.

Getting less Tinder matches in college towns. PGP.

Instinctively following your name with what company you are with on the phone, even during personal calls. PGP.

If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit. PGP.

Haven’t been carded in months. PGP.

Getting so bored at work that you actually do work. PGP.

Passive aggressively narrating my day through PGP submissions. PGP.