My best friend just bought a house. I just bought a Cheesy Gordita Crunch with change. PGP.

My parents still ask about my high school girlfriend who is married. PGP.

Coming in on the weekends so you can “play catch up.” PGP.

They forgot to up-charge me for guac today. I feel like I just won the lottery. PGP.

FF trades prompting collusion disputes. PGP.

Four of the twelve top sites on my browser are pizza places. PGP.

The new Rolaids look delicious. PGP.

The only missed calls/voicemails I have are from my therapist asking me to confirm that I’m not dead. PGP.

Actually thinking of cutting back on my drinking. PGP.

Just swiped right because I saw granite counters and stainless steel. PGP.