“There’s no one new around you.” Story of my life. PGP.

“The SEC network comes with your digital starter package but is not offered in your area at this time.” PGP.

Bought a new bed in January. Still haven’t gotten laid in it. PGP.

Sway is literally the only person on the MTV that I know. PGP.

Tried a new, calmer sounding alarm this morning. Overslept by almost two hours. PGP.

Really excited about the energy efficiency of my new washer and dryer. PGP.

My little cousin said she loves Beyoncé. Trying to bond, I told her I liked Destiny’s Child. She had no idea what I was talking. PGP.

Enjoying Timehop more than your present day Facebook. PGP.

Can I go home now? PGP.

Having to lie to coworkers on Monday morning to make it seem like I had an exciting weekend. PGP.