It’s my first day off in months. I’m taking the GRE. PGP.

Consulting with your physician before attempting a new diet and workout regimen. PGP.

It smells like a dead rat in our office, because a rat died in the vents and they haven’t dealt with it yet. PGP.

Snuck beer onto a public beach where alcohol is prohibited, just to feel young again. PGP.

Not sure what’s harder to find, an empty, odor-free bathroom at work or a single attractive girl over 25 without major problems. PGP.

Every Friday at noon my boss tells me to “Have a good weekend, kiddo” as he heads out the door. PGP.

I’m so bored, I just went to the bathroom for a change of scenery. PGP.

It’s “Budget your time between MLB day games and fantasy football roster management” season. PGP.

On their birthdays, everyone in the office gets a cake. I got two bowls of fruit because “We thought you were trying to watch your weight.” PGP.

Utilizing WebMD for medical jargon to make your fake illness sound much more believable. PGP.