My boss just invited himself to my wedding. PGP.

1: “How bout that rain last night?” 2: “Yeah, we need it, though.” PGP.

I’m legitimately sick today, but I couldn’t call in to work because my boss wouldn’t believe me.

If only my job was as good as my LinkedIn mades it sound. PGP.

More like DRINK DE MAYO. AMIRIGHT?! (Just kidding, I’m at work and went to bed at 9:30 last night.) PGP

I remember when waking up stiff in the morning was a good thing. PGP.

Can’t tell if I’m hungover, sick, or just getting old. PGP.

There’s a 95 percent chance I will be sitting on the toilet in the handicapped stall when the rapture happens. PGP

I get excited for training classes out of state because it’s the closest I come to a real vacation