The National Championship: ruining sober Januarys for over a hundred years. PGP.

Decided to be healthy and take the stairs this morning. Tripped and spilled my coffee. PGP.

I’m starting to order more water than beer at the bar. PGP.

Office’s computer network was hacked so all systems are down. I’ve being doing newspaper puzzles all morning and getting paid for it. PGP.

My job frequently touts “Work/Life Balance” but regularly denies PTO… PGP.

That one neighbor who doesn’t shovel his portion of the sidewalk…oh wait that was me. PGP.

Got food poisoning on the second day of my honeymoon. PGP.

My 11-year-old cousin gets more Instagram likes than I do. PGP.

When my boss asked me about my New Year’s Resolution, I almost said “finding a new job.” PGP.

I never thought one of the things I had to look forward to was tax season. PGP.