Sitting on a warm toilet at work is the same as finding out your buddy already tagged your one night stand. PGP.

“Come to my office,” really just means “come and hang out for 20 minutes while waiting for your superior to answer their own question.” PGP.

Girlfriend got into bed with her retainer in…again. PGP.

My office nemesis nominated me for the ALS ice bucket challenge. PGP.

Delayed joining PGP for as long as I could. You have me now. PGP.

It’s “Budget your time between MLB day games and fantasy football roster management” season. PGP.

Utilizing WebMD for medical jargon to make your fake illness sound much more believable. PGP.

Drinking games now means seeing if I can finish a drink without feeling sleepy. PGP.

Finally got a view on my online dating profile. It was my mom and she emailed me a list of things to edit. PGP.

Not pouring ice water on your head for charity, but because you can’t afford air conditioning. PGP.