I had to ask someone if I could email them a document because I don’t know how to work a fax machine. PGP.

“Did you get that e-mail I just sent you?” PGP.

Jordan Spieth is 21 and leading the Master’s. I’m 25 and making copies in a cubicle. PGP.

Summer and winter are the same season when you have no windows in your office.

The Wait of Shame on the toilet so you don’t have to make eye contact with the people who just heard you destroy it. PGP.

Melatonin is my performance enhancing drug. PGP.

I just googled “can you overdose on pepto bismol”. Turns out, yes. Yes, you can.

Getting invited on winetasting trips by people who grossly overestimate my salary. PGP.

Needing a VP to approve all raises over 2% PGP

Still haven’t done my taxes but I do know who has the best crawfish boils in my neighborhood. PGP.